A Method To My Mat-ness – Part One

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The Yamas

How you do anything is how you do everything.

The tendencies and habits you have in life will often show up on your mat during your yoga practice.

If you always tend to hurry in life, slowing down on your mat might be difficult. If you don’t like to sit still and prefer to be constantly busy, it will likely be hard for you to remain still on your mat. If you are a very goal-oriented person, the idea of being process-oriented on your yoga mat will probably be a struggle. If you procrastinate to avoid discomfort or difficult situations, you might avoid the poses that you find uncomfortable. If you are easily distracted, always doing five things at once, then when you practice yoga, you might find it challenging to pay attention to details. The list goes on. 

Keep in mind. These are not negative judgments. Habits develop over time, we all have them, and our patterns make us who we are – the good and the not so good. What your yoga practice does, if you are open to it, is point out your habits and help you determine the ones that work for you and the ones that perhaps need to be adjusted – all in the interest of being your best self. 

And while there are 8 Limbs of Yoga, many jump right to the 3rd Limb, Asana (the physical practice), and stay there. And that’s ok. However, yoga at its core is a path, a set of principles to help us all reach our highest development as a human. And, if you are interested in that, guess what? It’s possible to do both simultaneously – engage in the physical practice of yoga while benefiting from the mental practices. And if you’ve taken my class, you are already practicing these principles on your mat – whether you realize it or not!

The 1st Limb, Yamas, and 2nd Limbs, Niyamas, are guidelines that help us find external and internal harmony. By applying the principles of the first two limbs during your yoga mat practice, you begin observing your habits and tendencies. In doing this, you initiate the first step to taking these practices with you off your mat – the true meaning of living your yoga and living a life of personal fulfillment that benefits society.

Read on for the 5 Yamas – what they are, why they are important, why I teach them, and how to apply them on your mat:

Do No Harm But Take No Shit 
Ahimsa/Non-Harming

Non-harming is, in obvious ways, self-explanatory. 

It applies to how we treat others and ourselves with our thoughts, words, and actions. 

However, it does not mean being neutral or not protecting ourselves. That in itself is harming. It means that when another hurts us, we learn to stand up for ourselves, but we let our response rise above the harmful action. When someone else is hurt, it also means not staying silent. 
The Bhagavad Gita teaches us that it is not enough to not commit injustice, be we also must not tolerate it. This is the yoga of action.

I should also mention that non-harming trumps all the other principles. You cannot practice the others without applying this one first.

How To Practice Non-Harming On Your Mat:

There is a fine line between challenging yourself and being “violent” (using force or pushing too hard) when it comes to your mat practice. We call this “playing your edge.” The trick to knowing the difference? Your breath! If you find your breath becoming short and choppy, or you’re holding your breath, there’s a good chance that you’ve gone past healthily challenging yourself. This is what makes your yoga practice different than traditional exercise. When this happens, take child’s pose until you can get back to a steady, free-flowing breath. Take it a step further and observe your thoughts when you take a break – can you do it without negative judgment?

Take your focus away from how your pose looks and redirect it to how it feels and your response to how it feels. Try to find gratitude for what you can do and not what you can’t do.

Work From Where You Are, Not From Where You Want To Be
Satya/Truthfulness

Being honest does not mean that you get to use your words unfiltered and “tell it like it is.” (We all know that person, right?!) It does mean that before you speak, you ask yourself if your words are necessary, are they kind, and is it the right time? It also requires you to ask yourself the motivation for your words. When we have a difficult conversation, how we choose our words matters. Applying non-harming to our words helps avoid them from becoming weapons. 

How to Practice Truthfulness On Your Mat:

Try to assess each pose honestly. Your pose will only be as strong as the foundation you build for it. Find your alignment from the ground up and notice if there are particular times where you find yourself compromising the foundation of your pose to get to a place you think is “better.”

By being honest and building your practice step by step, you will discover a practice grounded in strength and compassion. 

Growth Comes From When Things Are Hard, Not When Things Are Easy
Asteya/Non-Stealing

This Yama is about being generous with your thoughts, words, and actions. It is not only based on “things” – I’ll take a giant leap of faith and assume anyone reading this does not have a shoplifting problem – but on experiences and opportunities. We can steal from ourselves when we avoid opportunities to learn and grow by avoiding hard work for fear of failing. “Failing” has a negative connotation. In reality, it is through hard work that we grow. We learn from failing if we allow ourselves to see the lesson.

We can also steal from others when we constantly interrupt or shift conversations to be about ourselves. We can steal time from others if we are always late.

We can steal the future from all when we take from the earth but don’t give back. 

How To Practice Non-Stealing On Your Mat:

Practicing in a group requires mindfulness of our actions within this environment. Showing up late, leaving early, going noisily to the restroom during class, speaking out – all of these actions “steal” the intention of the experience from the other students. You are responsible for the energy you bring to a group class.

Also, notice times on your mat when you tend to hold back; whether it’s a fear of falling or perhaps a fear of looking silly, try to get out of your head and back to your breath. Bring your focus back to building your pose step-by-step. And allow your practice to unfold as it should. You are giving your practice the opportunity to grow. If you want to fly, you need to be willing to fall.

Not Working Too Hard And Not Working Too Easy
Brahmacharya/Non-Excess

Non-excess is the practice of learning not to waste our energy, whether it’s with thoughts, words, or actions. And we cultivate a sense of sacredness in everything we do. Moderation in all aspects of our life – including our thoughts! So while the obvious things would be work, food, sleep, etc. A big part of the practice is the energy put into specific thoughts. Think about all the time spent thinking about things you can’t change or have no control over. That’s wasted energy! 

How To Practice Non-Excess On Your Mat:

If your breath is loud, harsh, and heavy, there’s a good chance you are not in that perfect place between working too hard and working too easy. Not to mention how disruptive it is for the rest of the class. The act of applying the steadiness of ujjayi breathing is what helps you to find balance in your practice. Also, use your larger muscles rather than relying on smaller muscles to do the work – like keeping your lower abdominal muscles engaged (uddiyana bandha) or activating your upper back muscles while in plank or chaturanga. 

Next, pay attention to places in your body that you tense or grip – like your toes or jaw. I like to call this “energy that does not serve a purpose.” First, you have to notice the habit, and then you can take the next step of breaking the habit. Maybe if you can break the pattern on your mat, you can start breaking the habit of all those unproductive thoughts off your mat!

Let Go Or Be Dragged
Aparigraha/Non-Possessiveness

While this does apply to not accumulating more “stuff” than we need – no one likes a hoarder! It’s also about not coveting what isn’t ours – perhaps being jealous of another’s life and wanting it for ourselves. You know, the grass is always greener syndrome! It is the practice of looking inside ourselves and understanding who we are and what we are is already enough. 

It’s also about letting go. 

Non-attachment does not mean we do not care; it simply means we do not allow people, experiences, or things to own us. People and things will come in and out of our lives. Can we find gratitude and opportunity in change instead of clinging to how things once were? 

The practice of aparigraha also asks us to examine ideas, opinions, or beliefs that have developed from our social placement and conditioning. We need to be open to shifting these ideas in an effort to bring justice and more good out into the world.

How To Practice Non-Possessiveness On Your Mat:

Try to be aware of “hoarding” space when you practice. 

Not just how you place your mat but how you set things around your mat – is your towel/sweatshirt thrown aside taking up space, or is it stored and out of the way? How do you move on your mat – are you “swan diving” your arms into another’s space or adjusting your movements to be more considerate?

At the same time, “other” awareness does not mean allowing yourself the become distracted from your practice. Even when practicing in a group, imagine you are practicing alone. Avoid letting your eyes wander. Try to set your gaze on a specific point – we call this Drishti. This will make it less likely for you to covet another’s practice and compare yourself. 

By setting your gaze and continuing to apply your breath, you will allow yourself an opportunity to “let go” and find gratitude that whatever the moment presents is enough. 

Stay tuned for the Niyamas, the 2nd Limb of Yoga, and how to apply them on your mat…

And remember, your real practice begins when you step off your mat.

8 Things To Leave Behind In 2021 (and a few things to bring)

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I’m not one to make a big deal about a new year. I absolutely don’t set resolutions. However, I did get to thinking, what if I could wave a magic wand and leave some things behind in 2021. What would they be? After these last few years, I admit that it was a challenge to keep the list short. But like Ted Lasso said, “takin’ on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse. If you’re comfortable while you’re doin’ it, you’re probably doin’ it wrong.”
So here’s my abbreviated version.

1. RACISTS AND HOMOPHOBES

The 1950s called, and even they don’t want you back.

2. BEING “A YES”

Because sometimes the answer needs to be absofuckinlutely no.

3. POLITICIANS WHO ENCOURAGED AN INSURRECTION AND CONTINUE TO SPREAD THE “BIG LIE”

On January 6, 2021, there was an attack on our democracy. Those who incited the attack on our Capitol continue to spread lies and promote violence. Polls have shown that they have convinced about two-thirds of Republicans that Biden was not legitimately elected. These lies are dangerous. They need to be held accountable, or they will do it again.

I highly recommend this article from AP News: ‘Slow-motion insurrection’: How GOP seizes election power.

4. CREEPY OLD WHITE MEN WHO PASS LAWS RESTRICTING A WOMAN’S AUTONOMY OVER HER OWN BODY

Self-explanatory. 

5. JEANS WITH STRETCH

Why? Seriously, why? These should’ve been left behind years ago. And while I am at it, let’s add skinny jeans to the list. Don’t get me wrong, I believe that we should all wear what we like and feel comfortable in (fuck trends), but let’s agree that if they look like leggings, they are NOT jeans. You have not fully lived until you purchase a pair of raw selvedge denim Levi’s and break them in yourself. There’s nothing quite like witnessing the slow fade and wearing in that happens over time. 

6. DOING “YOUR OWN RESEARCH”

What research is not:

  • Reading your Facebook newsfeed
  • Listening to a podcast
  • Watching YouTube videos or reading a blog post

What research is: “the systematic investigation into and study of materials and sources in order to establish facts and reach new conclusions.”

7. BOOK BANS

Many of the same people crying about cancel culture are banning books (and words). I will leave it at that.

8. CLIMATE CHANGE DENIERS, ANIT-VAXXERS, AND ALL SCIENCE DENIERS IN GENERAL

The “flat earthers” called, and they offered y’all a free membership.


and a few things to bring along:

OUR DEMOCRACY

Our democracy is not guaranteed. Our next elections will not be about voting Democrat v. Republican. This is not “politics as usual” or “both sides are just as bad.” We will be choosing whether we are pro-democracy or pro-autocracy.

Another article I highly recommend reading from The Atlantic: Trump’s Next Coup Has Already Begun.

SPEAKING OUT AND STANDING UP

In yoga philosophy, Ahimsa (non-harming) is the first of our ethical principles. When we don’t speak out about injustices or stand up when we see wrongs done to others, that is a form of harm, and we become part of the problem. Let’s try to be part of the solution and choose what’s right and not what’s always easy.

BE A GOLDFISH

Those who know, know. If you don’t know, the first thing you need to put on your 2022 to-do list is binge-watching Ted Lasso. In a world that’s pretty much gone to crap these last few years, this show brings laughter, heartfelt messages, and just downright good old-fashioned joy. 

And maybe if we all tried to do what Ted Lasso said when he quoted Walt Whitman, “be more curious and less judgmental,” the world would be a little bit better of a place.

BE LESS SELF-CENTERED AND MORE OTHER-CENTERED

Because after all, we are all in this together.



A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

You Never Know

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I know the path of emptiness
Where I’ve had nothing left inside.
I know that patience is a silent force
And it showed me how to thrive.

I know the path of moving on
Sometimes means taking a step back.
Which allows the time to heal the wounds
And see the beauty in the cracks.

I know the way of letting go,
Of paths that crossed and parted.
This space that is between us,
Feelings unceremoniously discarded.

I’ve glimpsed the path of second choice
And turned the other way.
For if someone cannot see my worth
Then it’s not worth my time to stay.

I know this world will break your heart
In a million different places.
But days will pass, and distance too,
Obscuring all the traces.

I know this world will break you down
And scatter all the pieces.
I know these lessons, though hard to learn,
Have taught me what true grace is.

I know these paths I’ve traveled down
Have led me to this space.
Where pain and joy stand side by side,
I feel their firm embrace.

I know this path of walls I built
To protect me from the storm.
But it’s removing every brick I laid
That has given me the power to transform.

I know there are paths I’ve yet to walk.
I wonder where they lead.
Long daydreams, deep night dreams,
And all the distance in between.

So the path of possibilities,
Is now the path that I will choose.
I’ll knock down these walls I’ve built so strong
Because there is nothing left to lose.

And I know this path will twist and turn,
Sometimes turn to dark.
But I’ll take each step with grit and grace,
They’re never far apart.

And I’ll turn my gaze up to the light,
Trust the stars to walk me home.
To this remembered place inside my heart.
Because you never know…

How The Grinch Found Yoga (and then found it again!)

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Inspired by Dr. Seuss’ How The Grinch Stole Christmas

PART ONE

Every yogi in Yogaville liked yoga a lot….
But the Grinch, who lived just north of Yogaville, did not!
The Grinch hated yoga! The whole yoga culture!
Now, please don’t ask why. It would only be torture.
It could be his mind was closed a little too tight.
It could be, perhaps, that his breath was too slight.
But I think that the most likely reason could be,
He kept his heart protected, not allowing it to be free.

Whatever the reason, his heart or his mind.
He stood there that evening, not feeling very kind.

Staring into the studio, with the look of displease,
At the warm yoga bodies moving with such ease.
For he knew every yogi was perfecting their pose,
While looking their best in their fancy yoga clothes.
“And they’re standing on their hands,” he said with despair,
“Without a single strand moving, not one! In their hair!”

Their photos, their quotes, their Instagram postings!
The kale and kombucha, the juice cleanse hostings!
And soon, oh so soon, they would be yoga singing!
The sound of their OMs! Well, it would have his ears ringing!

Then he got an idea! A crazy idea!
This “unyogic” Grinch got a crazy idea!
The Grinch held his breath, not knowing what was in store.
He walked up to the studio, and opened the door…

The Grinch came from the outside and found his way in.
Which is often how many of us also begin.
He stepped onto a mat, without expectation.
The evolution was slow, but he found meditation.

And there on the mat, released of all drama.
The Grinch discovered more than only one of the yamas.
It just takes some presence, a trust in the self.
In mindful action, the Grinch found some wealth.

And the Grinch, with his grinch hands touching his toes,
looked around in amazement, thinking, “How could it be so?”

“It came without judgment! It came without goals!”
“It came without challenges, selfies or ‘no’s’!”
And he sat down a few moments, till his breath became longer.
His mind became quiet, his inner voice grew stronger.
“Maybe yoga,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a pose.”
“Maybe yoga… perhaps…is an exercise for the soul.”

And what happened then? Well…in Yogaville they say,
That the Grinch’s trapped heart broke open that day!
And the minute his heart didn’t feel quite such a mess,
His mind opened up too and he found yoga bliss.
And he stepped on his mat. Both feet firmly at home!
And he, he himself! The Grinch sang the last OM!

PART TWO

When last we left off in the Yogaville district,
The Grinch had found yoga; his heart optimistic.
Dedicated yogi he was, trekking to town every day.
Heading straight to the studio, never going astray.
One day in particular as he walked in with his mat,
A new flyer was posted, he stopped in his tracks.
With eyes growing wider, he lost his Grinch cool.
In bold letters, he read: Yoga Teacher School!

Then the teacher strolled in, the breathing started.
The practice began, his effort half-hearted.
His mind so distracted, excitement barely contained.
He remained calm on the outside. The inside he strained.
And the more the Grinch thought of this whole teaching thing,
The more the Grinch knew he must do this TRAINING!
And the longer he pondered, with wheels endlessly turning,
His head grew bigger, his ego mindlessly yearning.
“Why, for two years now I’ve come to this space!
I know I can do it, I can take over this place!
I will be the best teacher this town’s ever known.
From miles they will come, they will build me a throne!”

So with focus and agenda, his journey began.
He studied and practiced, fine-tuned his grinchy plan.
Bought all the books, memorized all the right words.
Practiced the sequence, his goal never deferred.
And the day finally came, his certificate arrived.
He gave his dog a sly smile, and then a high five.
Of course, first on his list, doing what all legit teachers do,
He opened a Twitter account and a Facebook page too.
He took a few selfies; upside down in the snow.
Posted on Instagram with requisite yogic style prose.
He filmed YouTube videos, with his dog Max as his pupil.
It took only one day, and his followers quadrupled!

This was still not enough for his yogi star scheme,
The final touch was added, a completion of his dream.
A new studio he began building on top of Mount Crumpit.
He called it Grinch Yoga. Well, that pretty much summed it.

As he stood on his mountain, looking down at the town.
His shifty eyes landed on his final takedown.
Watching the yogis, the tall and the small,
Bustling to class, this would not do at all!
So just for good measure in the middle of the night,
The Grinch snuck into his old studio and stole everything in sight!
He took all of the mats! The candles for lighting!
The sign on the outside! His emotions delighting!
All the pictures on the wall! All the cubbies in the hall!
All the lights that were hanging! He left nothing installed!
He stole all of the schedules and workshop brochures.
Then he snatched his teacher’s notes, just to be sure!
And then, just in case, all that wasn’t sufficient,
He tweeted cruel words. A clearly grinchish decision.

And before you could say #yogaeverydamnday,
His new home was completed; Grinch Yoga here to stay.
He bounded through the door, new clothes on display.
Prepared to teach his first class, without any delay.
His teacher’s words mastered, his yoga jam cued.
Exuberant and giddy to the utmost magnitude.
With great confidence and ease, he patiently waited.
His ego, of course, ten sizes inflated!

He waited, and waited and waited all day.
But not ONE yoga student came, not ONE,
Through the doorway!
And there the Grinch remained, puzzling for hours.
No sense to be made. Why he had even planted fake flowers!

As he sat on his mat in deep contemplation,
He heard a soft noise, a humming vibration.
He looked out of his window; eyes followed the sound.
He shook in surprise as he gazed down at the crowd.
And he shook, and he shuddered at this most disturbing of views!
In the yoga studio he had emptied, the yoga class grew!
They twisted and turned and chanted away.
Nothing the Grinch did had ruined their day!

“No, it can’t be! I’ve done everything right!
Photos and followers! Hashtags and websites!
New floors and fresh paint, in the perfect location.
Thousands I spent on this yoga education!”

And then what the Grinch did, without even thinking,
He packed up old Max, crept to town, his pride shrinking.
He walked into the studio, well, some would say slunk.
But all would agree his high hopes had been sunk.
He looked at his teacher, Yogi Lyn Lou,
With questioning eyes, heavy heart, feeling blue.

And she tilted her head, raised an eyebrow.
Told him to sit and to get rid of his frown.
And with a slight wink, she proceeded to speak:

You can’t steal yoga, within is what you seek.

It’s not a fancy pose. It’s not rhyming prose.
It’s not a personal platform, for a Cirque du Soleil show.
Not matters the location or the color of the walls.
The flowers planted. The track lights installed.

Doesn’t matter the words strategically placed.
What matters are actions executed with grace.
Followers will follow, and likers will like.
But none of this matters if you behave with dislike.

For students to emerge you must teach from your heart.
It’s inside of you too; it just needs a jumpstart.
The only way out is to go through, the only way through is to go in.
You must do the hard work, stop believing your own spin.
Some days will be easy; others will not.
(On those days two words: tequila shot!)
It’s an on ongoing process this self-study thing,
But in the end, will be discovered the best kind of bling.
The glow from the inside will be quite distinct,
When your intentions and actions are completely in sync.

And the knowledge you search for, you already possess.
At this moment it is there, it just needs to be accessed.
Your purpose discovered. Clearly defined.
It is here my Grinch friend, you will find peace of mind.

And this wisdom you have cannot be shanghaied.
No matter what happens. Though, some will surely try.
Oh, they will try! Oh yes! They will TRY, TRY, TRY, TRY!
But when they go low it will teach you instead how to FLY!
Keep the focus on you and others won’t matter.
Silence you will find, trumps the meaningless chatter.

And it won’t be about selfies or how many likes.
Your followers on Facebook or a playlist contrived.
It won’t be something learned in two hundred hours.
Your silent voice inside contains all your power.
And it won’t be what’s trendy or Instagram fame.
Or the RYT letters you attach to your name.
Find the teacher inside, and the students will appear.
Not always an easy task. Trust yourself and don’t compare.

So, back to his mat went the Grinch and his Self.
Old Max snoozing soundly in his bed on the shelf.
His playlist deleted, his pride feeling cheated.
But the worst part of it all, his spirit depleted.
He got out of his head and started to work in.
It didn’t take long for the transformation to begin.
He found his way back to where he began.
And slowly let go of his grinchy yoga plan.
His ego grew weaker, his monkey mind meager.
His compassion expanded, mindfulness was eager.
His goals disappeared, replaced with intention.
And in this still space, he found his connection.

And what happened then? A revelation some say.
The door opened up, students walked in and stayed.
They laid down their mats, spaced barely an inch.
They all stood together, surrounding the Grinch.
And the Grinch looked around, not believing his eyes.
They finally opened up as he slowly realized…
“This teaching it seems doesn’t come from a book,
Not words that are mimicked or how a studio looks.
It’s not perfect alignment or music that rocks.
Not mastering poses or using five different props.
It’s not how you speak, or the way that you walk.
It’s in owning your truth and walking the talk.”

Then, the Grinch found his voice, and also his heart.
(A bit shaky at first, but an impressive good start.)
He guided the practice; they breathed and they flowed.
Compassion and honesty always in tow.

In unison, they moved. Together sang the last OM….
And there in his Self, the Grinch finally found home.

Love Dr. Seuss? Love yoga? Buy Lyn’s book, Om, the Poses You’ll Do!
Version 2
Available on Amazon.com

Yoga Teachers and Studio Owners: Let’s be sure to practice asteya, when sharing please give credit to the author.

Featured on Elephant Journal:
Read Part One and Part Two

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Truth Not Trends: Why I Teach

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For My Dad

“Teach the truth, whether it fills the room or clears it out.”

As a yoga teacher, I have a choice: to give my students what they want or to give them what they need.

Trends or truth?

As a yoga studio owner, I have to find a balance. The teacher in me will give them what they need. The owner in me will give them just enough of what they want to keep them coming back. Well, maybe it won’t keep everyone coming back.

You see, for me, teaching yoga isn’t about instructing poses from the perspective of physical fitness. It’s about using the poses as a tool toward personal growth. There is a difference between leading a student through movements and exercises with impeccable cuing – a technical skill – and guiding them to use these movements and exercises as a path toward self-study and transformation.

In a nutshell, I use the pose as a tool not to get better on the mat, but to become better off the mat.

And just in case no one ever told you, self-study and transformation are not always fun. Which means, inevitably, it will piss off some people.

Of course, the yoga industry as a whole has changed a lot over the years since I first started my own yoga practice.

With the influx of social media sites, the emphasis is more and more about elevating the physical component and less and less about ethics and philosophy. (See #yogisofinstagram on Instagram.) Classes are often just fitness with “yoga” thrown into the title.

And no, I’m #sorrynotsorry, but posting on social media a thoughtful quote about how yoga is not about the pose while demonstrating a ridiculous pose where you practically have your head up your ass does not count. (See #hypocrisy.)

The philosophy has become downgraded. The pose has become upgraded. It’s what I like to call the dumbing down of yoga.

I guess I should backtrack just a bit. To understand where I am coming from, you need to know, well, where I came from. At least when it comes to my yoga background.

After working in the fitness industry for years, which included teaching aerobics, step, and spin classes and running an average of six miles per day, I started to get burned out. Shocking, I know. I lost my desire to run and my passion for teaching fitness classes. All of those things seemed so very…unsubstantial. And that’s when I stumbled upon yoga. My life changed. Or, I guess you could say, I woke up.

There weren’t any yoga studios nearby at the time. At least none teaching ashtanga yoga, which is what I was practicing. Because of this, I had to do a lot of reading and studying on my own, which I now look back on with gratitude. It opened me up to a yoga practice that went beyond the asana (pose). My attitude about everything changed. The way I looked at life, but also how I looked at myself. You know, it helped me be less of an asshole.

For me, teaching was a natural evolution. I figured if yoga helped to make me less of an asshole, it would help others be less of an asshole, too. Fewer assholes in the world make it a better place. #winning.

I didn’t put much thought into it. I just started teaching. I wanted to teach the physical part of yoga while incorporating the life-changing elements of it, too.

So, that’s what I did.

I mean, what’s better than that? You can work on a healthy body at the same time as you gain a healthier mind.

It’s interesting to look back at how it all evolved. I didn’t have a grand master plan. I just taught. Opportunities arose. Doors opened. I never had visions of yogi rock stardom (the fact that this is even a “thing” is what’s partly wrong with the industry right now). And even though I never had a desire to own my own yoga studio, here I am, owning my own yoga studio. (That’s a whole other story. You can read it in my upcoming book called Fuck This Shit: A Guide to Surviving the Yoga Business.)

I made a conscious decision to mold the business plan of my yoga studio on the same foundation and principles from which I teach. Rather than envision my studio as a service-based business, I built it on the concepts of growth and learning…a space where I encourage students to stop looking out for themselves and begin looking into themselves. Which is hard work.

Hard work can be a hard sell. Let’s face it, it’s probably not the most revenue friendly business plan.

Which brings me to this whole positivity movement thing that has seeped into some yoga classes and has contributed to the dumbing-down process.

Listen, I’m all in support of trying to keep a positive attitude. But this idea that to live a fulfilling life, we need to be happy all the time, that we should suppress any negative emotions we might have, and nothing but good things will be in store if we do because our positivity will surely keep all the bad things away is, well, f’ing stupid.

As humans, we have a wide range of emotions. We should be allowed to freely embrace them all and be encouraged to work through them. We shouldn’t be made to feel bad because we feel, well, bad. When we don’t work through them, that’s when the problems start. I mean, when I’ve been sad it was because I cared, when I’ve been angry it was often because I had self-respect and values, when I’ve been heartbroken it was because I had the ability to love. I think we can all agree that those are good things. Things that are never easy. But we eventually do move forward, if we allow ourselves to fully feel them.

To me, it is more about redirecting negative emotions into positive energy. We can’t control how others behave or events that happen around us. We do have the power to control how we respond. So perhaps anger does not become hate, sadness does not become depression, with the understanding that we might not be able to just snap our fingers and “let it go.” Moving through the process of feeling these emotions is important, or they will never be resolved and keep coming back. We might have to do some hard work. Some soul searching. Some self-study.

The only way out is through, right?

So, while offering a 60-minute yoga class (and do not get me started on this new trend of shorter yoga classes!) that includes a rocking playlist for you to tune out to with a guaranteed sweat and good time might be better for my business, well, then I would have to ask myself what business am I actually in. A gym or a yoga studio? Performing exercises or transforming the mind? Am I cheerleader or an educator?

I think there is always a time and a place to put life aside and tune out completely. As a matter of fact, I think it’s necessary that we all make time for that. It’s healthy to take a pause in life, and it serves a purpose. But at some point, you have to hit that play button again. Because reality always has a way of catching up to you.

That’s where a yoga practice comes in. And that’s why I teach. Because yoga is not about tuning out. Yoga, by definition, is about tuning in.

When I look back at all the teachers in my life, the ones that stand out are the ones that made me do the work. They were tough but kind. They didn’t coddle me, but I knew I was in a safe and supportive environment. They often said things I didn’t want to hear…hard truths about myself I was trying to avoid.

My father was a teacher. So maybe that’s why I have such a strong opinion about what teaching means and entails, whether it is physics or yoga. He passed away when I was just 21, long before I had discovered that there was a teacher inside of me, too. I came across a tribute to him in the newspaper at the high school where he taught. One of his students said:

“There are two sides to Mr. Gerfin. There was Mr. Gerfin the teacher, and Mr. Gerfin, the friend. Sometimes one side would show more than the other, but for the most part, the two sides would balance one another. Mr. Gerfin the teacher would push you to do your best, make you understand the material and often test your patience. Mr. Gerfin the friend would reassure you with his wit and mild manner. In a chat outside the class, he would put you at ease by throwing aside the teacher and joke around with you. You always got the impression that he was on your side.”

I know for a fact that I often test my students’ patience and probably on occasion piss them off. I don’t sugarcoat, and I don’t believe in a lot of fluff. Shit, life is hard, and the universe very rarely sugarcoats. But I am also always on their side. Sometimes being supportive means being tough. It also means knowing that sometimes humor is needed to help make it through and lighten the load.

Tuning in is hard work, and I realize there will be those who walk into my class looking for a feel good 60-minute getaway and then walk right back out and never come back. And, that’s ok.

As a yoga teacher, it is my responsibility to create a safe and welcoming environment for my yoga students. But it is also my role to mentally push and challenge them to be their best self. Sometimes it will make them laugh. And sometimes it will make them uncomfortable.

When I step onto my mat to practice, it’s like going home. Going home to a house that’s usually a bit messy. If I don’t clean it up, the mess keeps getting worse. The clutter keeps piling up. And before I know it, I don’t recognize my home. I’m not always in the mood, but I know if I don’t clean it up, no one else will do it for me. The longer I wait to clean it up, the more likely I am to get lost in the mess.

And I know when my students step onto their mats, I do the best I can to help them clean up their own houses. I won’t be able to find what they are looking for or recommend what to throw out. Or even tell them which mess to clean up first, that’s for them to do. But I’ll be satisfied that if nothing else they find me a worthy guide. I might not always do it perfectly, but hopefully I can help them learn to deal with all of life’s ups and downs with a bit more grace and grit. And not lose themselves in the process.

Like that song says, you might not always get what you want. But if you are open to this practice we call yoga, you just might get what you need. And that, my friends, is substantial.

And from me, well, you will always get truth over trends. Purpose over popularity. Transforming over performing.

You in?

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For information about my teacher training program go HERE.

 

 

 

 

 

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To Serendipity

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To those that tried to bring me down. And to the ones that helped to hold me up.

To the telling of the truth.
To stories still untold.
To the uneasiness of honesty. Letting truths slowly unfold.

To the clearing of my closets.
Of people, not just things.
There’s no clarity in clutter, and my house is now scrubbed clean.

To the man behind the curtain,
Manipulating strings.
The ties have since been cut. I’m no longer your plaything.

You worked so hard to bring me down.
My voice you tried to stifle.
But no one tells me who I am. My Self is never idle.
These boots have never steered me wrong.
And walking they sure did.
Out the door and far away from bullshit gone unbridled.

To the mess that settled after you.
The debris left in your wake.
I’ve repurposed all the litter. A stronger foundation I have made.

To those that cheered you on.
Kicked when I was down.
Karma is a bitch my friends; tends to slink slowly back around.
Teacher’s just a role you play.
Integrity out of reach.
For character is thinly veiled when you don’t practice what you preach.

To those that mocked my vision.
Popularity your goal.
It’s harder work to look inside and share what’s in one’s soul.

To those that spread the gossip.
The truth you never see.
Your thoughtless words describe you more than ever they will me.

To all the bricks thrown my way.
Mostly from behind.
I turned my bruises into the force that guides my state of mind.

To my fuck it bucket overflowed.
Gifts that kept on giving.
I removed the shackles I freely wore. A new story I have written.

To friends that stood behind me.
Cushioning the fall.
My heart may have been broken, but my spirit never stalled.
To unrelenting loyalty.
To unexpected tribes.
Your faithfulness stood steadfastly with the turning of the tides.

To those that showed me kindness.
No agenda in your thoughts.
My gratitude forever, good vibes cannot be bought.

To the stillness in my practice.
That saw me through the storm.
Embracing transformation over pressure to conform.

To the grace in waiting patiently.
For time to heal all wounds.
Forgiveness never guaranteed, so best to not assume.

To the power in a purpose.
Teaching truth and not the trends.
A harder path to follow when means matter more than ends.

To outcomes not expected.
Misfortunes turned to gifts.
They led me to this home I found; old dramas are not missed.
This story mine to tell.
The ending up to me.
To bridges burned, lessons learned and serendipity.

To the pages not yet written, I look forward to the tales.
To peace uninterrupted when my truth inside prevails.

To old acquaintance now forgotten.
To flames that long since died.
I raise a glass of kindness to moving on and days gone by.

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How The Grinch Found Yoga (Again!)

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How The Grinch Found Yoga (Again!)

Inspired by Dr. Seuss, a true yogi.
Featured on elephant journal.

When last we left off in the Yogaville district,
The Grinch had found yoga; his heart optimistic.
Dedicated yogi he was, trekking to town every day.
Heading straight to the studio, never going astray.
One day in particular as he walked in with his mat,
A new flyer was posted, he stopped in his tracks.
With eyes growing wider, he lost his Grinch cool.
In bold letters, he read: Yoga Teacher School!

Then the teacher strolled in, the breathing started.
The practice began, his effort half-hearted.
His mind so distracted, excitement barely contained.
He remained calm on the outside. The inside he strained.
And the more the Grinch thought of this whole teaching thing,
The more the Grinch knew he must do this TRAINING!
And the longer he pondered, with wheels endlessly turning,
His head grew bigger, his ego mindlessly yearning.
“Why, for two years now I’ve come to this space!
I know I can do it, I can take over this place!
I will be the best teacher this town’s ever known.
From miles they will come, they will build me a throne!”

So with focus and agenda, his journey began.
He studied and practiced, fine-tuned his grinchy plan.
Bought all the books, memorized all the right words.
Practiced the sequence, his goal never deferred.
And the day finally came, his certificate arrived.
He gave his dog a sly smile, and then a high five.
Of course, first on his list, doing what all legit teachers do,
He opened a Twitter account and a Facebook page too.
He took a few selfies; upside down in the snow.
Posted on Instagram with requisite yogic style prose.
He filmed YouTube videos, with his dog Max as his pupil.
It took only one day, and his followers quadrupled!

This was still not enough for his yogi star scheme,
The final touch was added, a completion of his dream.
A new studio he began building on top of Mount Crumpit.
He called it Grinch Yoga. Well, that pretty much summed it.

As he stood on his mountain, looking down at the town.
His shifty eyes landed on his final takedown.
Watching the yogis, the tall and the small,
Bustling to class, this would not do at all!
So just for good measure in the middle of the night,
The Grinch snuck into his old studio and stole everything in sight!
He took all of the mats! The candles for lighting!
The sign on the outside! His emotions delighting!
All the pictures on the wall! All the cubbies in the hall!
All the lights that were hanging! He left nothing installed!
He stole all of the schedules and workshop brochures.
Then he snatched his teacher’s notes, just to be sure!
And then, just in case, all that wasn’t sufficient,
He tweeted cruel words. A clearly grinchish decision.

And before you could say #yogaeverydamnday,
His new home was completed; Grinch Yoga here to stay.
He bounded through the door, new clothes on display.
Prepared to teach his first class, without any delay.
His teacher’s words mastered, his yoga jam cued.
Exuberant and giddy to the utmost magnitude.
With great confidence and ease, he patiently waited.
His ego, of course, ten sizes inflated!

He waited, and waited and waited all day.
But not ONE yoga student came, not ONE,
Through the doorway!
And there the Grinch remained, puzzling for hours.
No sense to be made. Why he had even planted fake flowers!

As he sat on his mat in deep contemplation,
He heard a soft noise, a humming vibration.
He looked out of his window; eyes followed the sound.
He shook in surprise as he gazed down at the crowd.
And he shook, and he shuddered at this most disturbing of views!
In the yoga studio he had emptied, the yoga class grew!
They twisted and turned and chanted away.
Nothing the Grinch did had ruined their day!

“No, it can’t be! I’ve done everything right!
Photos and followers! Hashtags and websites!
New floors and fresh paint, in perfect location.
Thousands I spent on this yoga education!”

And then what the Grinch did, without even thinking,
He packed up old Max, crept to town, his pride shrinking.
He walked into the studio, well, some would say slunk.
But all would agree his high hopes had been sunk.
He looked at his teacher, Yogi Lyn Lou,
With questioning eyes, heavy heart, feeling blue.

And she tilted her head, raised an eyebrow.
Told him to sit and to get rid of his frown.
And with a slight wink, she proceeded to speak:

You can’t steal yoga, within is what you seek.

It’s not a fancy pose. It’s not rhyming prose.
It’s not a personal platform, for a Cirque du Soleil show.
Not matters the location or the color of the walls.
The flowers planted. The track lights installed.

Doesn’t matter the words strategically placed.
What matters are actions executed with grace.
Followers will follow, and likers will like.
But none of this matters if you behave with dislike.

For students to emerge you must teach from your heart.
It’s inside of you too; it just needs a jumpstart.
The only way out is to go through, the only way through is to go in.
You must do the hard work, stop believing your own spin.
Some days will be easy; others will not.
(On those days two words: tequila shot!)
It’s an on ongoing process this self-study thing,
But in the end, will be discovered the best kind of bling.
The glow from the inside will be quite distinct,
When your intentions and actions are completely in sync.

And the knowledge you search for, you already possess.
At this moment it is there, it just needs to be accessed.
Your purpose discovered. Clearly defined.
It is here my Grinch friend, you will find peace of mind.

And this wisdom you have cannot be shanghaied.
No matter what happens. Though, some will surely try.
Oh, they will try! Oh yes! They will TRY, TRY, TRY, TRY!
But when they go low it will teach you instead how to FLY!
Keep the focus on you and others won’t matter.
Silence you will find, trumps the meaningless chatter.

And it won’t be about selfies or how many likes.
Your followers on Facebook or a playlist contrived.
It won’t be something learned in two hundred hours.
Your silent voice inside contains all your power.
And it won’t be what’s trendy or Instagram fame.
Or the RYT letters you attach to your name.
Find the teacher inside, and the students will appear.
Not always an easy task. Trust yourself and don’t compare.

So, back to his mat went the Grinch and his Self.
Old Max snoozing soundly in his bed on the shelf.
His playlist deleted, his pride feeling cheated.
But the worst part of it all, his spirit depleted.
He got out of his head and started to work in.
It didn’t take long for the transformation to begin.
He found his way back to where he began.
And slowly let go of his grinchy yoga plan.
His ego grew weaker, his monkey mind meager.
His compassion expanded, mindfulness was eager.
His goals disappeared, replaced with intention.
And in this still space, he found his connection.

And what happened then? A revelation some say.
The door opened up, students walked in and stayed.
They laid down their mats, spaced barely an inch.
They all stood together, surrounding the Grinch.
And the Grinch looked around, not believing his eyes.
They finally opened up as he slowly realized…
“This teaching it seems doesn’t come from a book,
Not words that are mimicked or how a studio looks.
It’s not perfect alignment or music that rocks.
Not mastering poses or using five different props.
It’s not how you speak, or the way that you walk.
It’s in owning your truth and walking the talk.”

Then, the Grinch found his voice, and also his heart.
(A bit shaky at first, but an impressive good start.)
He guided the practice; they breathed and they flowed.
Compassion and honesty always in tow.

In unison, they moved. Together sang the last OM….
And there in his Self, the Grinch finally found home.

Love Dr. Seuss? Love Yoga? Buy Lyn’s book, Om, the Poses You’ll Do!
Version 2
Available on Amazon.com

Yoga Teachers and Studio Owners: Let’s be sure to practice asteya, when sharing please give credit to the author.
Photo Credit: Sarah_Ackerman/Flickr

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I Believe In: turning pages and closing books

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I believe in turning the page.

I believe under bus thrown leads to true colors shown.
And better to have known.
I believe the deepest despair can turn into the greatest hope.

I believe in the power of a pause. And the surrender of a flow.
I believe jumping to conclusions serves no one.
And there is wisdom in stepping back.

I believe in walking away tall. In preference to talking to a wall.
I believe in speaking truth to power.
Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is saying nothing at all.

I believe in fuck its instead of buckets.
I believe that pushed down does not mean pushover.

I believe in risking failure alone and not riding coattails with others.
I believe in closing a door not meant for me. So I can open one that is.
I believe that letting go means letting things be.

I believe in focusing on my own shit rather than spreading other’s bullshit.
I believe that denial is a dish best served when dining alone.
I believe a shot of reality feels like bourbon going down smooth and slow.

I believe in talking to you instead of about you.

I believe in fucking up, owning up and making up.
I believe messy and beautiful are one and the same.
I believe in silent voices and loud actions.
I believe words matter.

I believe in taming the raging war inside of me so that I can feed my fiery purpose that is meant to be.
I believe that negativity can’t touch this.
And Frankie was onto something when he said relax.

I believe in creating my destiny, but trusting the universe.
I believe I would rather miss the boat than jump on the bandwagon.

I believe I am one with the world.
And all alone at the same time.
I believe in killing with kindness.
And surviving by thriving.

I believe in waking up so that I can shake it up.
I believe if it feels right do it. If it seems wrong screw it.

I believe vulnerability requires courage.
I believe strength requires vulnerability.
I believe in baring my soul to wear my truth.

I believe in cleaning out closets.
I believe in ending relationships, to save myself.
I believe friendships might end but the confidences we shared do not.

I believe in friendships that last forever.
I believe old friends can become new loves.
I believe a lost love can be found.

I believe in “you had me at hello”. But I complete myself.
I believe in a last kiss that feels like a first kiss.
I believe in a first kiss that feels like home.

I believe in unsubscribing from anger.
I believe in employing indifference and resigning hate.
I believe in a lifelong membership to love.
For as long as we both shall live.

I believe forgiving is not always the answer.
But moving on without holding on is.

I believe we are all a little bit broken.
We come undone, and we piece it back together.
Some fragments get lost in the wreckage.
Some never fit like they once did.

I believe in letting the light seep through the cracks.
And not allowing the dark to dim the glow.

I believe each year will bring new tears.
I believe tears are a mix of opportunity and possibility.
I believe in daydreams, lost dreams and the dreams that keep you up at night.

I believe what does not defeat us, grows us.
I believe what breaks us, frees us…
to close the book.

It’s Just Yoga

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IMG_4905 - Version 2

Read elephantjournal.com version here!

Many are doing it. Oodles are practicing it. Plenty are teaching it.

Yoga is far trendier today than when I started practicing almost 20 years ago. Though, I would argue that the part of yoga I found to be so life-changing is not necessarily the same part of yoga that is attracting the masses today. I sometimes think that in this ginormous industry yoga has evolved into over the years, that particular component has some how lost its way. But that’s just me.

Just to clarify, this is not another article about what real yoga is, isn’t or should be.

I honestly believe that only we can determine for ourselves what we want to gain from it. And in turn, that will ultimately determine what we get out of it. And if a person chooses to approach yoga as just exercise, then that’s their decision.

But isn’t it possible to still do both? What if we not only used yoga as a path towards fitness but also used it as a doorway towards mindfulness…

What if when we stepped on our yoga mat we understood that touching our toes is about more than whether we can touch our toes.

What if we questioned more often why we do a pose, and worried less often why we can’t.

What if how we get into a pose is more important than how far we can go once we are there.

What if we paid more attention to how our movements affect others than how are movements look to others.

What if we killed ourselves with kindness rather than insensibly beat up our bodies.

What if we spent just as much time on healing the pain when our heart has been stabbed as we do straining our muscles so we can feel the burn.

What if we didn’t just practice yoga on the mat, but off the mat too.

What if we ceased defining our yoga practice by how we appear, and instead by how we behave.

What if we discontinued all the empty talk, and started to lead by example with a meaningful walk.

What if we put more importance on aligning our heart with our actions than we do with stacking our knees over our heels.

What if instead of repeating words because they sound good, we speak words because they are true.

What if we put an end to believing in our own bullshit so that we can start to clearly see the facts.

What if we accepted that we will all fuck up and sometimes act like an asshole. But we don’t have to be a fucked up asshole.

We can be this: strong and confident.
Without being this: arrogant and callous.

What if we understood that it’s no one else’s responsibility to make us happy, and instead worked on cultivating our own contentment.

What if our beliefs and truths were in sync with our actions and words.

What if we agreed that not all relationships were meant to last forever and it is possible to move on gracefully, rather than spitefully.

What if we appreciated that what is best for someone else might not be best for us, and there is no one to blame.

What if telling others what they feel and need was less important than listening closely to what we say and why.

We used these words less: authentic and unyogic.
We lived these words more: real and raw.

What if we discerned and didn’t judge.

What if we made a pact that when my purpose and your purpose are not in tune we can dance to our own rhythm and still share the floor.

What if a prerequisite for balancing on two hands was being able to stand grounded in our own true self.

What if we didn’t just do yoga, but actually tried to practice too.

What if we preferred a yoga mind over a beach body.
What if we practiced a soul search rather than just a seated twist.
What if we meditated on life rather than fixated on things.
What if our intention was in how we go rather than in what we get.

What if we transformed the world rather than performed a pose.

It’s how we think.
The words we choose.
It’s how we act.
Trusting our internal cues.

It’s a discipline not an art.
It’s an attitude from the heart.

It’s just mindfulness.
It’s just yoga.